I’m so sorry I let you down, you have always been here for me even when I wasn’t here for you ! Thinking back there were a lot of things you tried to tell me but I wasn’t ready to listen. I know the last 6 months have been quite a roller coaster but I miss you.
Sorry I didn’t listen.
I remember when it started, this time.I got a new promotion at work and I thought it was the best choice for both of us. I thought it was what we were waiting for, finally, our chance to make real money. But it was to much, my new job took me away from you. The stress and anxiety I had I couldn’t handle so I put it on you, it hurt you and made you sick.
I still didn’t listen!
I’ll never forget that Monday morning, you had had enough and cried out to me one last time!
A-fib with extreme tachycardia were the words they used! This was it I was going to die I thought. I spent 4 days in the hospital with you, the first three days were spent mostly in tears, I was afraid I was never going to see my loved ones again. The fourth day brought terror, terror like I’ve never known!
” in order to fix your heart we have to stop it first”
Words no one ever wants to hear!
Now I’m listening!
One shock was all it took! I was back and headed home. You were so tired and just wanted to be home and why not it was Christmas Eve. We had a long road to recover and now there were new challenges in our life …. Meds …my blood pressure was high but that didn’t worry us as much as the afib returning did.
So, now sleeping is a bitch because I can’t feel my heart beat ( which apparently I’m not supposed to feel ) but I can feel everything else inside my body! And I’m trying to get used to meds and I know this is taking a toll on you as well.
I listened again…
Anxiety and stress were real, and we had both! It came down to two choices you or career. The decision I made in the blink of an eye, this was simple.
You, I chose you.
After leaving the office of my director I enjoyed a very relieved ride to work. Knowing that we would be able to come together again as one !
I listened, I’m with you, no sedentary life for us, we will get stronger!
We will be one, again!
So again, I’m sorry I didn’t take care of you when we were younger. I’m sorry I didn’t listen all those times you tried to warn me that we were in trouble. I’m sorry I let the negativity of others affect us in such an awful way.
It will not happen again!
scottsjourney1976 